Confused.
In disarray.
Fire to bathe in
Water causes burns
The new darkness of day
Ever so bright night
No urge to feed
Starving bones
Dreams without sleep.
Yet hate diminishes
Searching.
Found.
The healing has just begun.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
How to Express?
I want to tell him so badly
to explain how I am feeling
But every time I try
He pushes me the other way
Lose myself in his ignorance
I'm confused by feelings unknown
Torn between the good qualities
and less attractive ones
Questioning why I feel like this
Regretting that one morning act.
to explain how I am feeling
But every time I try
He pushes me the other way
Lose myself in his ignorance
I'm confused by feelings unknown
Torn between the good qualities
and less attractive ones
Questioning why I feel like this
Regretting that one morning act.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
My Heart is Singing
For once in my life I have found something that I truly want. Something I love. Sadly, I believe I have lost it. I have broken it into pieces where it will never let me touch it again. I love it. It's misunderstood. It makes me feel so great inside even when it angers me. I feel more alive. I feel free. I like it even though it is flawed. I like it's flaws. They make it different. Make it stand out from the rest. It's unlike anything I've ever met. Unlike anything I've ever had feelings for. I know it makes no sense but that's what is the greatest about it. It makes me feel so great that I can say this. That I can actually mean it. And even though it may never read this, I still write it. Because I'll risk everything for it even if that means I loose many things along with it. Because for once I know what I want and I know what I love.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Choice of Agony
Torn between two worlds
Unsure which to choose
How do I decide when I love them both?
Tall trees bending over me
Painted pictures on the blue sky
Long lost creations finally found
Odd odor on warmer days
Lacking looks of eternal beauty
But still it calls to me.
Sweet scent of the new blooms
Brilliantly bright colors over the landscape
Warm waters flowing through the river
Dark dreary clouds block out the sun
Twisting tornadoes can form and destroy
Yet this one calls me as well.
How can I choose between two worlds?
Both evenly matched for my love
maybe go to one for a while
Then go on to the next
But how does one choose
Which to go to first?
Unsure which to choose
How do I decide when I love them both?
Tall trees bending over me
Painted pictures on the blue sky
Long lost creations finally found
Odd odor on warmer days
Lacking looks of eternal beauty
But still it calls to me.
Sweet scent of the new blooms
Brilliantly bright colors over the landscape
Warm waters flowing through the river
Dark dreary clouds block out the sun
Twisting tornadoes can form and destroy
Yet this one calls me as well.
How can I choose between two worlds?
Both evenly matched for my love
maybe go to one for a while
Then go on to the next
But how does one choose
Which to go to first?
Lost Time
The ground covered in red and gold
The light breeze blowing through my hair
I look upon the place where you rest
To find that you can never look at me again.
The wind carries the scent you use to wear
And I am reminded of how many hours we spent
Running together in the wind
Acting as if time made no difference
Little did we know that a time would come
Where we would regret
Not using our time wisely
Who could have known one of us would lose their life
Why should it have happened to us
We were just kids enjoying what we had
But in the end we knew we'd lose one another forever
Then agian who was to say our journey ended there
We could start all over in a new place
Somewhere we could share our embrace
A place where no one could tell us
What and what not to do
Remembering the great times we shared
The way you'd hold me in your arms
Makes the tears easier to shed
When I knkow that you are there
Looking down upon me.
The light breeze blowing through my hair
I look upon the place where you rest
To find that you can never look at me again.
The wind carries the scent you use to wear
And I am reminded of how many hours we spent
Running together in the wind
Acting as if time made no difference
Little did we know that a time would come
Where we would regret
Not using our time wisely
Who could have known one of us would lose their life
Why should it have happened to us
We were just kids enjoying what we had
But in the end we knew we'd lose one another forever
Then agian who was to say our journey ended there
We could start all over in a new place
Somewhere we could share our embrace
A place where no one could tell us
What and what not to do
Remembering the great times we shared
The way you'd hold me in your arms
Makes the tears easier to shed
When I knkow that you are there
Looking down upon me.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
. . .Again
The night is cold and dark
Nothing moves but the breeze through the trees
And your whisper can be heard
As if a ghost walked among the living
Your touch seems so real
You have gone from here and left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
As the night grows longer
The shadows show your true form
you taunt me and tease me
But I follow nevertheless
Up and down the streets
Through the shadowed wood
I follow your voice on the breeze
Knowing all the while you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
Chasing you through the night
I never am able to catch up
I can see your shadow up ahead
But you never slow down for me
I push myself on
Hoping that I may reach you in time
Just to tell you how I feel
Even though you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
I follow you to the place where we first met
The little place that no one knows
The place where we shared most of our time
The place where I became yours
I settled down on the rock there
And remembered all the times we sat upon it
The times you held my hand
The time you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
Your voice sounds once more
So sweetly in my ear
You tell me everything is all right
You tell me we will be together again
I turn to find you standing there
The wind blowing all around you
I stand up and am caressed in your arms
Forgetting about the day you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
We stand there for a lifetime
But it made no difference to me
As long as I was with you
The world could pass on without me
You let me go and told me to wait
You say you will come again
And that we will be together soon
And there you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
. . .again
Nothing moves but the breeze through the trees
And your whisper can be heard
As if a ghost walked among the living
Your touch seems so real
You have gone from here and left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
As the night grows longer
The shadows show your true form
you taunt me and tease me
But I follow nevertheless
Up and down the streets
Through the shadowed wood
I follow your voice on the breeze
Knowing all the while you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
Chasing you through the night
I never am able to catch up
I can see your shadow up ahead
But you never slow down for me
I push myself on
Hoping that I may reach you in time
Just to tell you how I feel
Even though you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
I follow you to the place where we first met
The little place that no one knows
The place where we shared most of our time
The place where I became yours
I settled down on the rock there
And remembered all the times we sat upon it
The times you held my hand
The time you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
Your voice sounds once more
So sweetly in my ear
You tell me everything is all right
You tell me we will be together again
I turn to find you standing there
The wind blowing all around you
I stand up and am caressed in your arms
Forgetting about the day you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
We stand there for a lifetime
But it made no difference to me
As long as I was with you
The world could pass on without me
You let me go and told me to wait
You say you will come again
And that we will be together soon
And there you left me
all alone
in worry
in pain
in guilt
. . .again
Saturday, January 5, 2008
After Passage
Rain falls to the ground
making a pitter-patter sound.
The wind in the trees
hums like a hive of bees.
There stands a stone among stones,
Under which lie your bones.
A white lily rests on top,
Yet the rain ceases to stop.
You life came and went
but your spirit has not been sent.
That's why it rains,
Yes, that's why it rains.
I whisper to you,
"You know what you have to do.
It's time for you to leave.
I will not forget, I'll always believe."
The sky remained gray
I hoped you could find your way.
Because no matter the pain
Your passing on would not be in vain.
You life came and went
but your spirit has not been sent.
That's why it rains.
The rain stopped, the clouds moved apart
Warmth and happiness fill my heart.
Upon your stone, a single ray bright
lifted your spirit into flight.
I deeply inhale,
You afterlife ship set sail.
Down my face runs a single tear,
My heart rid of the fear.
You life came and went
Away your spirit sent.
And that's why the rain is gone.
Yes, the rain is gone.
making a pitter-patter sound.
The wind in the trees
hums like a hive of bees.
There stands a stone among stones,
Under which lie your bones.
A white lily rests on top,
Yet the rain ceases to stop.
You life came and went
but your spirit has not been sent.
That's why it rains,
Yes, that's why it rains.
I whisper to you,
"You know what you have to do.
It's time for you to leave.
I will not forget, I'll always believe."
The sky remained gray
I hoped you could find your way.
Because no matter the pain
Your passing on would not be in vain.
You life came and went
but your spirit has not been sent.
That's why it rains.
The rain stopped, the clouds moved apart
Warmth and happiness fill my heart.
Upon your stone, a single ray bright
lifted your spirit into flight.
I deeply inhale,
You afterlife ship set sail.
Down my face runs a single tear,
My heart rid of the fear.
You life came and went
Away your spirit sent.
And that's why the rain is gone.
Yes, the rain is gone.
The Light Side of Darkness
The darkness of the day
Everything, cold, wet, miserable
A day that everyone hides from
A day of utmost silence.
The ground is muddy.
Everything is slippery.
The hole in the earth where you lay
Is not completely filled.
Rain and tears mix upon my face
The earth mourns with me.
How could such a horrible thing happen
Especially to you?
The roses are beginning to wilt
Some petals clutter the ground
No one has been here since that day
And since that day it has rained.
I try my hardest to believe you're some place good
And that I'll see you again.
I can see you running through the woods
Hiding behind trees from me
Keeping yourself just out of my reach.
And then you disappear.
I can't see you anywhere.
Then quickly you pull me behind a tree
And caress me ever so sweetly
I can feel the warmth of our bodies
The quick-paced beating of our hearts in sync.
I can feel you tighten your arms around me
Whispering in my ear, "I'll never leave you."
I question, "What if the worst happens?"
You hug me tightly and reply,
"I'll never leave you even if the worst happens.
I'll be with you for our two spirits are not whole without the other."
I open my eyes to reality
To find the darkened sky lighted
The rain gone and with it the misery.
A ray of light lands upon where you lay
And I hear your voice saying,
"My spirit will forever be with you."
Everything, cold, wet, miserable
A day that everyone hides from
A day of utmost silence.
The ground is muddy.
Everything is slippery.
The hole in the earth where you lay
Is not completely filled.
Rain and tears mix upon my face
The earth mourns with me.
How could such a horrible thing happen
Especially to you?
The roses are beginning to wilt
Some petals clutter the ground
No one has been here since that day
And since that day it has rained.
I try my hardest to believe you're some place good
And that I'll see you again.
I can see you running through the woods
Hiding behind trees from me
Keeping yourself just out of my reach.
And then you disappear.
I can't see you anywhere.
Then quickly you pull me behind a tree
And caress me ever so sweetly
I can feel the warmth of our bodies
The quick-paced beating of our hearts in sync.
I can feel you tighten your arms around me
Whispering in my ear, "I'll never leave you."
I question, "What if the worst happens?"
You hug me tightly and reply,
"I'll never leave you even if the worst happens.
I'll be with you for our two spirits are not whole without the other."
I open my eyes to reality
To find the darkened sky lighted
The rain gone and with it the misery.
A ray of light lands upon where you lay
And I hear your voice saying,
"My spirit will forever be with you."
Thursday, January 3, 2008
A Circular Life
Lightness to darkness
The sun has to set
The world spins round
Time passes by.
A long road traveled
Needs to eventually stop.
A heavy rain
Slows before disappearing.
A flower's petals
Fall to the ground
To be reborn again.
Darkness turns to light
The sun rises
The world keeps on spinning
Time continues to pass.
The path less taken
Leads a new way
The dark clouds release
A new light rainfall
And the seed
Shows greatness toward its mother.
The sun has to set
The world spins round
Time passes by.
A long road traveled
Needs to eventually stop.
A heavy rain
Slows before disappearing.
A flower's petals
Fall to the ground
To be reborn again.
Darkness turns to light
The sun rises
The world keeps on spinning
Time continues to pass.
The path less taken
Leads a new way
The dark clouds release
A new light rainfall
And the seed
Shows greatness toward its mother.
Opinion on Eternal Love
Someone is made for someone else. They are suppose to get together and be happy for the rest of eternity. So if something should happen to one of them in this life the other is going to be alone. Then after they die they'll both come back and try all over again. And that'll continue until they find one another.
So how does one survive without someone? They'll find a way. It's the only way they'll be able to make it through life. They have to forget about that one little thing or at least not dwell upon it. It cannot affect how they are going to live. It will be different but there is always the hope that they will find their right person. "Never give up on love even when it seems it has given up on you."
So how does one survive without someone? They'll find a way. It's the only way they'll be able to make it through life. They have to forget about that one little thing or at least not dwell upon it. It cannot affect how they are going to live. It will be different but there is always the hope that they will find their right person. "Never give up on love even when it seems it has given up on you."
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